Tuesday, July 27, 2010

The "R" Word

Stop screaming. Please.
That's right, A little bit of nothing presents...a post by me...Relationships.
But, before I tell you what I think; let's look at what our culture says.
"Get in a relationship now! Sure, you're 15 now, do you want to be a bachelor all your life?
Look at all those lonely girls and your own lonely self. A Relationship will solve all your problems,
you're life will be filled with rainbows and butterflies forever! Everyone else is doing it, why not?
What have you got to lose?"
My turn.
I'm 18, ignoring culture and I've never been in a relationship. Stop looking at me like that.
Also, I am very happy. No really, stop looking at me like that.
Shocking isn't it?
Not really. Actually, encouraging infatuation at an early age is one of America's biggest mistakes.
We've seen the attraction of it, but let's look at the consequences.
First of all, when a teenager gets infatuated (And they insist on calling it love) the whole family gets an
overdose of drama, not to mention a much larger phone bill. Being a teenager is in reality a very stressful time
for a youth. Their bodies are growing and changing and the teen starts to wonder where their place in life is.
This time should be spent having fun, spending lots of time with friends and time with Jesus Christ.
Not stressing and sweating about the "love of their life."
Teenagers are just too young to handle the responsibility, the commitment and the sacrifices of a deep, Godly relationship that they insist on hurling themselves into.
It's insane!
I know it's hard to avoid those feelings, it's our God given nature to see that person and like what we see.
But that's another thing that we have to give to God. When the time comes, and the right person that God has chosen
for us comes it's exciting. But you don't want to have to tell her about all the stuff that went on before you met.
I'm trying to step carefully here, but there's also a chance that the two young lovers might become parents before wedlock.

A lot of teens go through girlfriends and boyfriends like candy. "I'm tired of this one, on to the next! Because it's going to be so much better!"
Think about the lyrics in some of the songs you hear. They sing about how they can't wait for the one to come, then they sing about the butterflies of love; moving on to how painful the breakup was and how they'll never forgive the person because they made their lives miserable and it keeps going on and on and on.
What I'm trying to say is this:
Enjoy your youth. Don't try it, you're too young whether you think so or not. God loves you, and he has someone out there for you. Good things come to those who wait.


Mical said...

Yes, yes, and yes :)

Brittney said...

Wow Alec I feel like I just read something from a Doctor or something. That is a good post

Yvonne C. said...

This is very good. I recently read something similar at this blog, you may enjoy it.

Chantal said...

I'm not saying one has to be in a relationship if they don't, but neither should one actively avoid it.

Being in a relationship at a young age is part of a person's healthy development. It's when we establish patterns ranging from how we are going to be responsible partners and spouses later in life to how we treat others and how we can respect ourselves. It's when we develop healthy sexual and emotional outlooks. It's part of the journey. Proper childhood development does not come into conflict with God.

Andrew Johnson said...

"This time should be spent having fun, spending lots of time with friends and time with Jesus Christ."

Consider for a moment that if you present relationships and having fun as being mutually exclusive that you may want to take a long look at your true feelings about women. Before you subsume your sexual drives with Jesus Christ you may want to read through Leviticus, God does *not* want that from you.

Romantic relationships early in life are not an American thing. If fact, Americans tend to develop romantic relationships later than any other western culture. Research shows that the earlier one begins having personal relationships with their sexual aspirant group, the healthier, happier and more stable their later relationships are later in life.

Please, please do not use your relationship with Jesus Christ to justify your personal developmental challenges. It insults those of us that have healthy relationships with God and with the opposite sex.

Alec Nilsen said...

"to take a long look at your true feelings about women."
What do you mean by this?

Andrew Johnson said...

"to take a long look at your true feelings about women." Before I answer what I meant by that I should correct myself. Since I was writing as much to your audience as to yourself, I should probably not have said "women". That was hetero-centric of me and may have given the impression that I give greater credence to heterosexual relationships. I believe that everyone's romantic choices are their own to make and I don't want to make anyone feel discounted. Please read that as "your true feelings about your sexual aspirant group."

What I meant by that was that any healthy relationship is fun and that, rather than getting in the way of healthy normal socialization, it affords greater opportunities for it. I was attempting to point out that you placed relationships on an opposite pole from having fun and spending time with friends. What does that say about your feelings about relationships and about your feelings towards your sexual aspirant group? Relationships, no matter how platonic you may choose to keep them, give us the skills to make our later, more serious relationships work, to train inter-personal skills with both sexes, hone our conflict management and more than that, they simply enhance your quality of life.

Think about it honestly, if relationships are doing that for everyone else around you and they don't seem to be doing so for you, do you really think that relationships are the problem?

Print can make people come across as more harsh or more judgmental than they may wish and that's not where I'm coming from. You're bound to still be trying to figure a lot of stuff out at this point in your life. Don't do yourself the disservice of cutting yourself off from any part of your own development.

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